Founders Note

  THE SMIRK No, neither my arm nor Chris London’s arm look like what you see in the photo above. We are not modern day versions of Popeye. Chris Photoshopped the photo before sending me a copy...

  60 Years, Give or Take John T. Earnest is going to have a lot of time on his hands. And during that time, he is going to say to himself no less than a million or...

  CHANGE OF PACE Went with the family to a Baptist church on Easter Sunday. Was interesting. Those Baptists know how to kick it. We are “C&E” Catholics, which means we only go to church on “Christmas and...

  No Sniffles Allowed Last week Waitt on Wednesday was, instead, Waitt in bed with Pneumonia. How can one human body generate so much phlegm? Phlegm is one of those words that sounds like what it stands for....

Tick Tock Bonnie and Clyde don’t wear watches. So the time we think it is, is not necessarily the time they know it is. Bonnie and Clyde are peacocks. Snow white peacocks. Quite stunning to see. Technically, they...

  Not Gonna Do It I was going to write a column this week about all the recent airplane crashes. Like the one Sunday that killed 157 people aboard Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302. Or the Oct. 29 Lion...

  It Only Took Columbo One Hour It took Christopher Columbus only 10 weeks to sail from Spain and discover America. Situation status? Resolved. Yes, there is land on the other side of the ocean. It took the...

  You’ve Got (No) Mail! Lindsay, who apparently is too hot to handle, had her birthday bash at the Green Girl Saloon bikini bar from noon to 7 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 22. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make...

Napoleon Dynamite Makes More Sense Ever feel like you have woken up only to find that you are one of the extras in the movie Napoleon Dynamite? In that movie everybody and everything is crazy. Saying and...

R.I.P. Websites There’s been a death in our industry. Hundreds of deaths, actually. Like many companies, we here at ED Publications live and die by our databases. We have a number of databases, but the two main...

    Moves Like Jagger A week or so before the Super Bowl I’m sure Adam Levine’s manager met with him to discuss Maroon 5’s upcoming half-time show, and the discussion probably went something like this: “So Adam,...

  Good Head How large was the dancer on the main stage? Well, she probably outweighed me and I’m pushing 250 pounds on a good day. The stage she was on was in a medium-sized, somewhat blue...

  No Sex = No Kids People just aren’t screwing as much. Last year the growth—or lack of growth—of the U.S. population hit an 80-year low. Not since 1937 has the growth been this low. Population growth...

Waitt on Wednesday - Why The F-Bomb? What’s next? Is Tlaib going to stand on the floor of Congress and introduce her first piece of legislation by saying, “Okay, listen up all you cocksuckers, I have a fucking bill here that you assholes better vote for or I’m going to be very pissed off.” Let’s hope not.