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No Sex = No Kids

People just aren’t screwing as much.

Last year the growth—or lack of growth—of the U.S. population hit an 80-year low. Not since 1937 has the growth been this low.

Population growth is determined by factoring in births and deaths. So last year a lot more people were keeling over and a lot fewer people were doing the nasty.

To keep a country’s population growing every woman needs to have 2.2 children. I’m not too sure what that .2 child looks like.

In the U.S. women are only averaging 1.7 children. At that rate, in a million years or so, people will be gone from the planet. Which might not be the worse thing to ever happen to the planet.

Used to be the average family had Mom and Dad and four or five kids. There were five kids in my family. My parents were good Catholics so the only birth control going on in my house was when my Mom would say, “Not tonight, I have a headache.”

One of my best friends, Pat Sullivan, who lived across the street, had 10 brothers and sisters, so that was a family of 13 living in a 2,000-square-foot, very crowded house. He would often come over to my house to escape the chaos and din of noise at his house.

Two seems to be the magic number. I have two kids, actually grown-up adults now. Most of my friends and business associates have two children. The recently married children of those friends and associates all say they plan on only having two children. Surprisingly, some of them say they don’t plan on having children at all.

It’s not just a U.S. problem.

More people are dying in Spain every year than are being born. Work the math out on that one.

Fewer children were born in Italy and Great Britain last year than in recent decades, while the population of Bulgaria is shrinking faster than any other nation.

The governments in both Japan and South Korea are offering cash incentives to their citizens to have more than one child. They are actually paying their citizens to screw! Do you hear that Trump and Pelosi? Now that’s how governments should be treating their loyal subjects.

China, which used to restrict families to only one child, now allows its citizens to have two children. How magnanimous of them. What’s next, freedom of speech?

And lastly, Singapore’s fertility rate is just 0.83. They can’t even burp out a complete human being on average.

The primary reason cited by experts for the drop in population growth is economics. They say most people feel they don’t make enough money to be able afford more than one or two children. Not sure if I buy that. People were still banging out loads of kids during two World Wars and the Great Depression.

I think people are just too busy texting to be screwing.

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