Don Waitt The Pub
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Mary, Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?

News reports now say that body parts of murdered Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi have been found in the garden of the Saudi Consul’s home in Turkey.

Seems like a lot of trouble to go to.

When I want to spruce up my garden, I just go to Home Depot and buy a few bags of fertilizer.

Now, that last statement is ridiculous. But not quite as ridiculous as the kidnapping, beating death, and body butchering of a journalist under the direction of the leaders of Saudi Arabia.

The kidnapping, beating and butchering part isn’t the ridiculous part.

The ridiculous part is what a FUBAR—fucked up beyond all recognition— situation those leaders and their minions were involved in.

The Saudi leaders planned ahead to do it, sent a 15-man hit team to Turkey to carry it out, along with a Khashoggi body double, got caught, lied about doing it, then said it was an accident, and now body parts are cropping up in the garden of the boss from the consulate where Khashoggi was last seen entering. The three safest places on the planet for a person to be should be a church, a police station and a consulate. Oops, mark that last one off the list.

But seriously, how bad can you bungle an execution? It’s not like they were under-funded. The Saudi princes have more money than Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg combined. But the hit team they put together makes the inept Mafia crew in the book and movie “The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight” look like professional assassins.

Here’s where the FUBAR started.

The Saudi consulate is in Turkey.

The Turks hate the Saudis.

Which is why Turkish spymasters have hundreds of cameras chronicling everything that happens at the Saudi consulate, videoing every person entering and leaving the consulate, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They apparently even have listening devices inside the Saudi consulate.

I guess the Saudis were not aware of this fact. And these guys are our allies in the War against Terrorism in the Middle East? Seems like we’ve partnered up with Mr. Bean.

I can just imagine the Israelis laughing their asses off. Nobody is better at whacking undesirables in other countries than the Israelis. If you don’t believe me, ask the terrorists who killed 11 Israeli athletes at the 1972 Summer Olympics in Munich. Oh wait, you can’t ask them because very professional and capable Israeli intelligence agents tracked every one of then down and eliminated them. They did such a good job that we made a movie about it, “Munich”.

Not the Saudis. No movie starring Eric Bana is in their future.

How bad did the Saudis screw up? So bad that even President Trump, who has had his own fair share of embarrassing situations, said, “It was carried out poorly and the cover-up was the worst in the history of cover-ups.”

Ouch.

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